The New and IMPROVED Eclipse

--dedicated to Harley Englebert, Lyndsey Smith and Elizabeth Robins--

Honey,
I’ve been cutting my wrist a lot, but no worries....
I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I just....
Sorry I left you and the kids.
Fredward

I woke up to the sound of silence. Sweet relief, I thought. No kids for two weeks, thank you, Mom and Dad.
I continued to lie in bed until I heard the bang from the front door shutting. I jumped out of bed and ran down the flights of stairs to meet Bocaj at the door.
He ran to me when he saw me coming and picked me up fiercely, yet, at the same time, kissing me tenderly.
“Good news,” he said, “I got off from work next week.” I loosen his tie. “So, I booked us a trip to Florida!”
“What?!”
“Haven’t you always wanted to go?” he asked confused.
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised. Thanks, baby,” I say throwing his tie to the floor.
“Anything for you,” he said. “And, the best part about it, no kids.”
I smiled. “Just like I like it.”
He kisses my neck. “Go pack.” He sets my feet on the ground and points me up the stairs.
I ran up stairs on my tip-toes followed immediately by Bocaj’s heavy foot steps.
“Suitcases?” I asked when we reached the room.
“Under the bed,” he answered while he pulled clothes from the dresser.
I pulled the suitcases out and opened them on the bed, then ran to the bathroom.
“I’ll take gather all of the toiletries together! You pack the clothes,” I demanded, “Don’t forget my tennis shoes!
“Where are they?”
“Closet floor under the salt and pepper Halloween costumes from last year,” I instruct.
I dug through the pile of things around our sink, gathering our toothbrushes, our toothpaste, the Q-tips, and our deodorants. I put them to the side, then dug around in the cabinet above the sink, trying to find a large make up bag to put everything in.
“Ready yet?” Bocaj yelled.
“Hold on!” I yelled back, throwing everything into the bag. I grabbed my make up and threw it into the bag, making sure we had room for the hairbrush.
“Don’t forget the toothpaste!”
“I got it! Where is the hairbrush?”
He hesitated. “Um, in here!”
I picked up the bag, and ran into the bed room.
“Did you get plane tickets already?” I asked while putting the bag in the suitcase.
“On my way home. They’re in the car. Ready?”
I zipped up the suitcases.
“I’ll get that. Go put on your shoes. Meet you at the car.”
Bocaj ran towards the bed and picked up the suitcases with one arm.
I stared at him, amazed.
He stopped outside of the door. “What?”
“Strong.”
He laughed and walked out of the room.
[[Florida]]
“I have a surprise for you,” Bocaj said as we walked out of the Holiday Inn lobby and to our car in the Florida heat. “Private scuba diving lessons!”
“No way! I’ve always wanted to go! How did you know?”
“Just a guess.”
[[Scuba diving]]
Bocaj pointed to a manatee about ten feet away from us. The blue water was cool against my body. I looked at it surprised. Manatees are my favorite animal.
Then, I noticed something floating in the distance. I swam after the instructor to see if it was any concern.
The instructor, Mr. Goshdashtidar, swam out closer towards the object while Bocaj and I watched from the boat during the lunch break.
“I wonder what it is,” Bocaj said in between sandwich bites.
“I hope it isn’t dead,” I said concerned.
We watched in silence as Mr. Goshdashtidar swam back, pulling the mystery object behind him.
Oh, man, I thought to myself, Mr. Goshdashtidar has a nice body.
“It’s a body! Help me pull him up to the boat!” he yelled to us.
We jumped up and stepped to the edge of the boat to prepare to lift the body into the boat. Mr. Goshdashtidar pulled the body to the edge of the boat, and Bocaj and I pulled him up while Mr. Goshdashtidar pushed him up. We quickly got the body up on the boat. Mr. Goshdashtidar came up in the boat, pushing us aside to perform CPR on the body.
“He isn’t responding,” Mr. Goshdashtidar said.
“Let me take a look,” I said, jumping in front of Mr. Goshdashtidar. I pushed the man’s black, wet bangs from his face and stopped. “Fredward,” I muttered under my breath. Robot… Water… I thought. Rust! “Get towels!” I told Bocaj before he could recognize his face. Bocaj handed me multiple towels and I covered Fredward’s body with them, trying to soak up the water before it settled in.
“Leave him be,” I told the men.
“What?” Mr. Goshdashtidar asked.
“Trust me,” I assured him.
He sighed. “Okay. Let’s head back to shore. Bocaj, can you use the phone to call the hospital? Phone book is next to the phone.”
“Sure,” Bocaj agreed.
The guys left me with Fredward. I took the towels off of Fredward’s body and laid down next to him, hoping my touch would wake him from his rustic sleep. His body was comfortable against my own. I shut my eyes, letting my brain wonder back to when we still slept in the same bed each night. Suddenly, I felt his hand wrap around my back. I looked at him with sadness in my eyes.
“Morning,” he said.
I stood up and stepped back. “What are you doing?”
“We should be lovers, and that's a fact.”
“You left me for concentration camps and Kinder balls.”
“I brought you some of those, by the way.”
I looked at him. “How did you know where I was?”
“It’s a robot thing.”
Just then, Bocaj walked out on deck with us. “Fredward? You’re the body that we pulled up and saved?” He looked to the sky. “Why, God?”
“Thanks,” Fredward said half as a question. He stuck his hand out in front of him for Bocaj to shake, but Bocaj refused.
Fredward turned to me. “Listen,” he said sincerely, “I can’t stop thinking about you. Everything reminds me of you; paper, pencils, chocolate, shoes, socks, BBQ, ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs, potato chips… Food in general. Anyway,” he got down on one knee, taking my hands, and asked, “will you marry me?”
Bocaj and I look at each other and laugh. Fredward looks stunned.
About five minutes later, we are back to shore and still laughing, dramatically acting out Fredward’s proposal.
Mr. Goshdashtidar anchors the boat in the harbor then comes back to see what the laughter was about.
“Fredward?” he asked excited as he looked to see who was standing with us.
“Gralf?”
“What? I didn’t recognize you when I rescued you. I guess we’re even now,” he said, giving Fredward a hug.
“Guess that is fair. I save your life, you save mine. Quid pro quo,” Fredward joked.
“Y’all know each other?” I asked, pointing to Mr. Goshdashtidar then to Fredward.
“This man,” Mr. Goshdashtidar said, throwing this arm around Fredward, “saved my life a few years back. We’ve been buds ever since. You know them?”
Fredward answered for us, “Yeah. We went to school together.”
“Worst days of my life,” I told them.
We laughed at that for a moment.
“Let’s go,” Bocaj says. “Thanks for the lesson, Mr. Goshdashtidar.”
“Not a problem. Lovely meeting you both.”
“Nice seeing you, Fredward,” Bocaj said sardonically before we left the boat.
[[Hotel Room]]
“Wow,” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking my shoes off, trying not to get dirt on the off white bedspread. “Can you believe that?”
“I don’t blame him. You’re hard to resist.”
Bocaj took off his button up shirt and tossed it in the red mismatch chair, revealing his extremely toned body. I bit my bottom lip at the sight of his body.
“You flatter me,” I laughed.
“You know I love you right?”
I looked at him. “Yes. Why?”
“I have to go away for a few days. On a mission.”
“Mission? Are you some kind of spy?”
He chuckled. “It’s time for the family to go make the annual crop circle.”
“Wait a minute. Is that why you took a vacation by yourself last summer?”
He sat next to me on the bed and took my hand. “Yes. I didn’t tell you because I thought you would laugh.”
“Well, I’m glad you told me.” I kissed him. “Can I come?”
“You think you can handle it? Humans don’t usually succeed in circling.”
“I can handle you, can’t I?”
“Good point,” he said. “Okay. You can come. Make sure Fredward doesn’t propose this time.”
“He has allergies,” I chuckled.
Bocaj took me by my waist, hoisting me to the middle of the bed. He kissed me softly and I allowed my fingers to run through his soft, brown hair. His hands held me at the waist, still and my hands wondered around his arms and stomach.
“I love you,” Bocaj said while he kissed my neck.
“I love you, too.”
[[Crop Circle]]
The moon hung silent in the night sky. The wind was chilly and raw against my soft skin. Bocaj’s family got here quickly, all surprised when they saw me.
“She better not slow us down,” Bocaj’s sister said when she neared. She never did like me.
“Just stay by me,” Bocaj whispered in my ear.
“Okay, Family! Ready? Go,” Bocaj’s father, Yllib, commanded.
The family all darted out into the corn field, leaving me left behind, not knowing what to do. The wind grew colder and my wind coat became obsolete.
Before I knew it, Bocaj and his family were standing with me again.
“Let’s get back to the hotel,” Bocaj told me.
“Are y’all finished already?”
Yllib laughed. “Yes, Hun. You’ll see the finished product on the news tomorrow. See you later, Son.”
We watched the family leave in different directions. Bocaj moved in front of me to block the wind.
“Where did we leave off in the hotel room?” he asked pulling me closer to him.
“I think we were somewhere around here,” I said leaning closer to him.
“Oh, yeah,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss me.
As we kissed, we heard something shuffle in the distance.
Bocaj pulled away. “Shh. Someone is in those woods. Hop on my back. I must carry you for now.
I didn’t hesitate. I followed his direction and hopped on his back. My mind wondered back to the last time my own father had given me a piggy back ride.
“Don’t say a word,” Bocaj whispered to me.
I nodded.
Suddenly, we heard music coming from the woods. Bocaj stopped.
“What is that?” he asked.
I listened for a second before answering, “A harmonica and a kazoo, I think.”
“Kazoo,” he repeated as a question.
“Yeah. The little plastic music things you get your kids. You hum into it and it makes that noise. We got the kids some for Christmas last year.”
“Oh, yeah! I wonder who is out there. Let’s go look,” Bocaj said, tip-toeing off.
I slid off of Bocaj’s back and followed Bocaj into the woods. We hid behind a bush, not far from the musicians.
I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the faces.
“That sounds good, Baby,” one of the voices sad deeply.
“Thanks, Hun,” the other sad happily.
Bocaj looked at me. “That’s a man’s voice. Two men?”
We listened for a little longer.
We heart kissy noises and the rustle of leaves.
Oh snap, I thought.
“Oh, Fredward,” a voice moaned.
Bocaj and I looked at each other and snickered. “What?” I mouthed.
“Gralf, you are amazing,” Fredward said over the sound of rustling leaves.
Bocaj’s mouth dropped. We looked at each other and laughed a loud howl.
“Who’s there?” Gralf jumped.
Bocaj and I stood up from behind the bush.
“Marry me, Fredward?” I joked, high fiving Bocaj.
Fredward looked stunned. He stopped in his tracks and didn’t move.
Gralf looked at him. “Do what?”
“Yeah,” Bocaj said, “Fredward, here, proposed to my wife today on your boat before you came out there.”
Fredward swallowed. Gralf looked at him intensely.
“Listen, Gralf,” Fredward pleaded. “It was nothing. I was trying to get these two losers to break up so that way I can say that they were dysfunctional and I could maybe get custody of my kids.”
“You have kids?” Gralf asked appalled.
“Twelve,” I chime in.
“I have to get out of here,” Gralf said through sobs.
“Wait!” Fredward yells, running after him. “Your harmonica!”
Bocaj and I look at each other and smile as we over hear Fredward and Gralf bickering through the woods.
“Oh, man, this is the greatest vacation ever,” I said.

A Mother's Holocaust

She looks at me as if nothing is wrong,

and in her mind, nothing is.

"It's just another play date,"

I tell her as we are separated at the gate.

She smiles and waves to the tall man

with the uniform of a killer.

I know this will be the last time I see her,

because she will not be assigned

a

number.

The Velcro Museum

The museum is dark,
you have to plug up the lamp first,
before you see the Velveteen Rabbit.
Then look at your bag that you lug
around. See the Velcro?
The Velcro Tevye used during the Sabbath.
The Velcro that helped The Wicked Witch say on her broom.
The Velcro on the shoes you wear near the fryer.
The Velcro that holds the moon
in the starry night sky. It's the Velcro
that held Hitler's army together
The Velcro that chained the slaves together
the Velcro that held the stories of the twin towers
the Velcro that was hidden in the walls of every New Orleans home
the Velcro that kept the Clinton's together.

Broken Brown Grass

I appeal to the eye and cut your fragile skin.
I seam harmless from a distance,
But I attract you and call you in.
I wait for your step, and stick to your foot
And laugh as I watch you cry out in pain,

I am not a gem,
I am not a stone,
I am thin, rough glass.
I shimmer in the sun,
And my glimmering color catches your eye.
For I am a piece of broken glass.

Untitled One

By Christolear and Walker "Texas" Kennedy.

The droning battle cry of thirsty men
they call for their mothers
while laying on the wet, damp
mud boats, peacefully sailing around the moon.
The eclipse turns everything into
dirt; colors all blend to one.
Soldiers die on by one by the
giant ant's leering gaze.
It walks not on ground, but on
quarpets, that float above the world.
Death calls them in and
draws them in their path.
The men march on into
the sea waiting on Death's yacht.
They get ready for
the sea to turn to their blood,
carcasses floating among the sea.
their lives and journeys end.

Labor Pains

I watched you from the dusty window.
I watched you from across the street.
The roar from the mower came through to me
above the chatter from the TV.
I wondered why you were outside,
playing in the fresh grass
instead of inside playing with me.
Your arms flexed as you pushed a car
across the church's front yard.
I tried to tell you,
'just let the grass grow'
but you didn't listen.
Years have gone by, and now I am you,
cutting my church's grass
to make the church look like new.

One Leads to a Thousand

Reach out your hand to those who need.
Hug those who are alone.
Give to those who have nothing to own.
Tell someone of Jesus who has never heard his name.
Start your mission, claim the name, Child of God.
It starts with one; It starts with you.
One leads to a thousand.
Lives will change, we will know His name.

June 7. 9 P.M. Eastern Standard Time

~Base on a true story~

The dark theatre filled with the applause of a thousand crazed fans as the touring cast of RENT took their final bows. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I took one last look at Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp before the lights were turned back up and the cast walked off stage.
“That was the most amazing thing ever,” I tell me mom with a sparkle in my eyes.
She smiles and hands me the brown bag of souvenirs we had bought before the show.
We walked slowly through the crowd and through the door of orchestra one.
“Look! A backstage person,” Mom points to a woman. “Let’s talk to her.”
“No,” I protest. Before the word even left my mouth, Mom was walking towards the woman. I followed after her relentlessly, but hopeful.
“Um, hello,” Mom said to the woman.
The woman stepped forward to us, pushing her blond bangs away from eyes. “Hey. Can I help you?” she asked, her thick, Australian accent surprising me.
“My daughter here,” Mom starts, “is RENT’s biggest fan. We drove eleven hours from Alabama to see this play.”
“Really?” the woman asked.
I smiled at her accent.
Mom lowered her voice to a whisper. “Is there any way you could let her backstage and meet the cast?”
“Mom!” I exclaimed.
The woman laughed. “I can’t do that. But, around the back of the building, under a green canopy, most of the cast come out and sign autographs.”
“Thanks!” Mom and I cheered. We ran around the building to find the green canopy.
We walked quickly through the crowd in hope to get just a glimpse of someone. We found an opening in the crowd and I inched my way up to the front.
“Stay off of the sidewalk!” a man in a tux yelled, trying to look FBI.
The crowd ignores him, only getting larger and expanding half way across the street.
Minutes later, the crowd cheered loudly as they saw the chick who played Maureen walk out of the door. She made her way around the circle, signing posters and taking pictures with fans. She got around the circle to where I was and signed my Playbill, Nicolette Hart.
Then, Anthony Rapp makes his way out of the door. The crowd jumps up and down and he smiles.
I watched him make his way around, signing posters and programs and copies of his book.
Hurry up and get here! Hurry up and get here, I think to myself.
He made his way around to my side of the crowd. My heart starts to beat a thousand times a minute and my knees started to tremble. Anthony Rapp inched his way in front of me.
I handed him my copy of his book, Without You, and watched as he autographed the title page.
Anthony Rapp is standing one foot away from me, I yell in my mind.
He hands me the book and reaches right over me to autograph someone’s program.
It felt like years had gone by and I wanted to say something to him just in case I never got the change again. “Have time for a quick hug?” I asked him cautiously.
He laughs. “Can’t. One leads to a thousand.”
That was all I heard before my senses shut down and I stopped hearing him.
He finished his autographs and stepped to the side to keep signing.
My brain clicked on. Picture. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and snap a picture while he was still one or two feet away.
Anthony Rapp finishes his autographs, and the FBI wannabe yelled, “That’s it! We are done!”
The crowd wined, but scattered off to live there lives.
Mom takes my hand and guides me through the crowd. My heard was beating faster than it ever had and slower than it ever had all in the same moment. I hugged Without You to my chest and peacefully rode home with the words, “one leads to a thousand” repeating in my head.