Monday, February 16, 2009
Popular
I don't know if you've ever listened to Wicked, but one of the songs in Wicked is "Popular." See, one character is trying to change the other character to make her more 'beautiful' or 'pretty' well, just trying to get her to fit in so they could hang out and she wouldn't be embarassed by her green friend. Now, I hope that if you had any of a childhood, you watched Grease at least once in your life. At the end of Grease, Sandy and Danny switch places in a way. She changes to the hot biker babe and he changes to a jock. But, I believe that no one should change for anyone. And I am glad that God accepts everyone just the way they are. He doesn't care if you are red, yellow or blue; gay, straight or bi; short, tall or somewhere in the middle. He loves us all the same. So, don't change yourself for anyone no matter who it is, because God wants you to be yourself one hundred percent.
Temtations
It's 47 days into 2009. Forty-eight short days ago, we were all making our New Year's resolution as we watched the clock hit twelve. Mine is to once again give up all caffinated drinks. I don't know what yours is, or was, but have you broken it yet? In Avenue Q there are these two puppets called the Bad Idea Bears. They are cute and talk in really high pitched vioces and they just look hugable. But there purpose isn't really sweet. Everytime one of the characters would come face to face with a problem or situation, POP! The Bad Idea Bears would show up steering them in the wrong direction. For me, one of my favorite lines in the whole play was "Take her home! She's wasted! YAY!!!" Spoken by none other than the Bad Idea Bears. Notice how they said yay when Princeton took her home. However, everytime a character did the right thing, they would get sad. In that sense, these bears are like the Devil. He always shows up when we are faced with important decisions. He gets really happy when you consider going along with it, but then when you turn away and do the right thing, he is dissapointed. But hey, that shouldn't matter because when you turn away from the Devil, God is celebrating. He is shouting, "Yay!" We shouldn't have to think about what we need to do. We should follow God in everything we do. Just remember, the closer to God you are, the more the Devil is going to show up. He's going to try to bring you down to his level, but don't let him. Rise above him and keep following God. It's part of our walk of faith. Or, leap of faith really. God bless.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Mixed Devotion.
How can you connect in an age when strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray?
Without having to think, I was able to rattle off that line from Jonathon Larson's hit rock opera, RENT. As a matter of fact, I can hear one word, doesn't matter what word, and I can finish it off with lyrics from RENT. For the past three years I have studied, listened and read anything about RENT that I could be my hands on. But then again, for the past three years, something has been missing. I've realized that once again in my life I have wandered away from God. Now, since I am a preacher's kid, I know that He is with me always, but since I have strayed I don't feel His love. And recently, I realized that maybe the reason I have strayed was because I devoted all my time to studying something else besides Him. I realized that if I had devoted that same time and engery maybe He and I would be closer. Instead of using my time to seek Him, I was busy in my own little world singing lyrics from a play. But instead I should've been reading His work, following His footprints, and reading about His past. I should've taken my time to turn off my iPod and pray. Or maybe I should've put down the script and read the Bible, after all, that is the best book out there. Now, all that time learning and studying about RENT had paid off in the fact that I get to see RENTat the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center July 7, 7:30 P.M. Seat C9. =] But learning about God can benifit me more than RENT, I believe. I just thought I should post this blog so that you may remember what is important in your life and what makes you WHOLE.
Without having to think, I was able to rattle off that line from Jonathon Larson's hit rock opera, RENT. As a matter of fact, I can hear one word, doesn't matter what word, and I can finish it off with lyrics from RENT. For the past three years I have studied, listened and read anything about RENT that I could be my hands on. But then again, for the past three years, something has been missing. I've realized that once again in my life I have wandered away from God. Now, since I am a preacher's kid, I know that He is with me always, but since I have strayed I don't feel His love. And recently, I realized that maybe the reason I have strayed was because I devoted all my time to studying something else besides Him. I realized that if I had devoted that same time and engery maybe He and I would be closer. Instead of using my time to seek Him, I was busy in my own little world singing lyrics from a play. But instead I should've been reading His work, following His footprints, and reading about His past. I should've taken my time to turn off my iPod and pray. Or maybe I should've put down the script and read the Bible, after all, that is the best book out there. Now, all that time learning and studying about RENT had paid off in the fact that I get to see RENTat the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center July 7, 7:30 P.M. Seat C9. =] But learning about God can benifit me more than RENT, I believe. I just thought I should post this blog so that you may remember what is important in your life and what makes you WHOLE.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Lost Sheep
Everyone has heard the story of the lost sheep, right?
Well, in my case, it's the lost puppy.
When I was about five or so, my brother, my mom and I went to North Carolina on a business trip during July. It wasn't the first time we had gone on that trip, it was maybe about the second or third time.
I don't remember anything about this trip except for the day we left. My mom woke me up early and since I'm not a morning person, I let her and Steven pack all my stuff. Once the car was packed and we were checked out of the hotel, my mom picked me up out of my bad and carried me to the car.
I slept for about another two or three hours in the back seat while Mom and Steven were in the front talking. I woke up and started to look around the back seat for my stuffed animal, Rover. He was red and had a big nose. Everyone that ever saw him said that he was Cliffard, but sure enough, he isn't.
But I couldn't find him so I asked my mom where he had gone. In about three seconds she went into a state of panic almost. She looked at Steven bugged eyed. I knew something was wrong. She told me that she didn't know where he was but we would search the suitcases and the trunk the next time we stopped. He wasn't there.
See, my mom was in such a rush that morning that she forgot to dig for him in the covers before she pulled me to the car. I couldn't believe she left the single most important thing at the hotel.
I spent the whole ride home sulking in the back seat. My mom tried to make it up to me in so many ways.
When we got home, she called the hotel. The cleaning crew had found Rover between the sheets and they said that they would mail him back to us.
A week later, I finally got him back. Just in time for my birthday.
To this day I still sleep with my stuffed animal. It's my blankey, only better. It was my lost puppy that we waited for. And now looking back at this, I realize that God waited on me for a year.
It was my 8th grade year. I had two friends that I ate lunch with, and personally, I didn't like one of them. I hated every previous moment that had happened in middle school and I had fallen into a state of depression. I ended up drifting so far from God that year that I was practically ashamed to call myself a preacher's kid.
That Martin Luther Kind Jr. weekend changed my whole life though. We had gone up to our church camp with the young group for the Behold weekend.
Let me say something about that camp, first. I've known that place like the back of my eye lids my whole life. No matter what age I was, I felt closer to God at that camp then any church I have ever steped foot in. I still feel that way today.
When we arrived to camp, I wasn't sure if that weekened would do anything for me. But, Friday ended and Saturday began. That Saturday night was what changed my life. During the worship service, the speaker talked about a man in a dungeon who only ate so much and only saw light for a breif moment of time. But he descibed this man's journey out of the dungeon. How the light became brighter as he traveled further out. Everything the speaker said was me. It was like he was talking to me and no one else. My best friend and I cried our eyes out that night. During the songs "Here I am to Worship" and "Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord," I felt like I was coming out of my own dungeon. God accepted me back into his kingdom.
I was mailed back home.
That camp means the world to me. I have rededicated my life to God at that camp, watched my friend dedicate her life to God at that camp, and this back MLK weekend, I answered a call to ministry at that camp. No word can express how any of that feels.
That moment in time is ingraved in my brain. I'll never forget how it felt. Everytime those songs come through my headphones, they bring tears to my eyes.
I can tell this story a lot better in person, so ask me about it. But don't be scared if I cry. I don't usually cry when I tell stories, I use hand motions and use sound effects and wacked out facial expressions, but that story takes my breath away as I remember the reason I live today. I'm a better person now, and I owe it to who ever came up with Behold weekend. And of course, my God.
Well, in my case, it's the lost puppy.
When I was about five or so, my brother, my mom and I went to North Carolina on a business trip during July. It wasn't the first time we had gone on that trip, it was maybe about the second or third time.
I don't remember anything about this trip except for the day we left. My mom woke me up early and since I'm not a morning person, I let her and Steven pack all my stuff. Once the car was packed and we were checked out of the hotel, my mom picked me up out of my bad and carried me to the car.
I slept for about another two or three hours in the back seat while Mom and Steven were in the front talking. I woke up and started to look around the back seat for my stuffed animal, Rover. He was red and had a big nose. Everyone that ever saw him said that he was Cliffard, but sure enough, he isn't.
But I couldn't find him so I asked my mom where he had gone. In about three seconds she went into a state of panic almost. She looked at Steven bugged eyed. I knew something was wrong. She told me that she didn't know where he was but we would search the suitcases and the trunk the next time we stopped. He wasn't there.
See, my mom was in such a rush that morning that she forgot to dig for him in the covers before she pulled me to the car. I couldn't believe she left the single most important thing at the hotel.
I spent the whole ride home sulking in the back seat. My mom tried to make it up to me in so many ways.
When we got home, she called the hotel. The cleaning crew had found Rover between the sheets and they said that they would mail him back to us.
A week later, I finally got him back. Just in time for my birthday.
To this day I still sleep with my stuffed animal. It's my blankey, only better. It was my lost puppy that we waited for. And now looking back at this, I realize that God waited on me for a year.
It was my 8th grade year. I had two friends that I ate lunch with, and personally, I didn't like one of them. I hated every previous moment that had happened in middle school and I had fallen into a state of depression. I ended up drifting so far from God that year that I was practically ashamed to call myself a preacher's kid.
That Martin Luther Kind Jr. weekend changed my whole life though. We had gone up to our church camp with the young group for the Behold weekend.
Let me say something about that camp, first. I've known that place like the back of my eye lids my whole life. No matter what age I was, I felt closer to God at that camp then any church I have ever steped foot in. I still feel that way today.
When we arrived to camp, I wasn't sure if that weekened would do anything for me. But, Friday ended and Saturday began. That Saturday night was what changed my life. During the worship service, the speaker talked about a man in a dungeon who only ate so much and only saw light for a breif moment of time. But he descibed this man's journey out of the dungeon. How the light became brighter as he traveled further out. Everything the speaker said was me. It was like he was talking to me and no one else. My best friend and I cried our eyes out that night. During the songs "Here I am to Worship" and "Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord," I felt like I was coming out of my own dungeon. God accepted me back into his kingdom.
I was mailed back home.
That camp means the world to me. I have rededicated my life to God at that camp, watched my friend dedicate her life to God at that camp, and this back MLK weekend, I answered a call to ministry at that camp. No word can express how any of that feels.
That moment in time is ingraved in my brain. I'll never forget how it felt. Everytime those songs come through my headphones, they bring tears to my eyes.
I can tell this story a lot better in person, so ask me about it. But don't be scared if I cry. I don't usually cry when I tell stories, I use hand motions and use sound effects and wacked out facial expressions, but that story takes my breath away as I remember the reason I live today. I'm a better person now, and I owe it to who ever came up with Behold weekend. And of course, my God.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Goodbye, Love
I stood alone at his grave as the rain poured down over his casket. My tears were now invisible, hidden in the rain. I stood alone looking at the new dirt and tombstone. My black dress clinged to my waist and mascara blackened my face.
The thunder was violet and loud. I streched my arms out from my sides and raised my head to the heavens. The rain drops hit my face as I closed my etes to go back to a better time...
It was a hot, July day and I was seventeen. A few of my friends and I had snuck into the Around the Clock Cafe for a few drinks.
There was a band playing on the stage that no one was paying attention to. But in the midst of a guitar solo, the guitarist caught me eye. The neon lights were glowing across the stage highlighting his sharp jaw line. He kept the solo going, but it went from a hard, rock solo to a solf, calm luliby.
He stopped. the band looked at him confused but followed his lead. Silence fell over the but no one seemed to notice but me.
Two years later, engaged and in college, I watched him die. I'll never forget the way his voice sounded as he said "I love you" and took my hand as God took his life.
The thunder was violet and loud. I streched my arms out from my sides and raised my head to the heavens. The rain drops hit my face as I closed my etes to go back to a better time...
It was a hot, July day and I was seventeen. A few of my friends and I had snuck into the Around the Clock Cafe for a few drinks.
There was a band playing on the stage that no one was paying attention to. But in the midst of a guitar solo, the guitarist caught me eye. The neon lights were glowing across the stage highlighting his sharp jaw line. He kept the solo going, but it went from a hard, rock solo to a solf, calm luliby.
He stopped. the band looked at him confused but followed his lead. Silence fell over the but no one seemed to notice but me.
Two years later, engaged and in college, I watched him die. I'll never forget the way his voice sounded as he said "I love you" and took my hand as God took his life.
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